The Watermen
Thriller, Horror
IMDB rating:
Matt L. Lockhart
Richard Riehle as Belvin Lee Smith
Joe Monds as Captain J
Luke Guldan as Mike
Ashley Myers as Chrissy
Tara Heston as Diane
Scott Davis as Shackleford West
Floyd Abel as Floyd Clements
Blakely Bunnell as Woman In Woods
Gordon Price as Jenkins Hogg
Joy Glass as Lisa
Jason Mewes as Trailor
A.J. Roberts as Attendant
Storyline: A crew of watermen abducts persons in boats to grind their flesh and make bait. Six youngsters have their motor yacht sabotaged and they are stranded in the sea. The crew of a trawler rescues them and they drink spiked water and faint. When they wake up, they learn that they are trapped in an island and they have to fight against the sadistic men to survive.
Type 720p
Resolution 1280x646 px
File Size 1165 Mb
Codec h264
Bitrate 1730 Kbps
Format mp4
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720p 1280x646 px 1165 Mb h264 1730 Kbps mp4 Download

Rather disappointing and disjointed slasher effort
Heading out for a relaxing cruise on a small boat, a group of friends learn their boats' troubles allow them to fall into the hands of a group of deranged butchers cutting up human flesh to haul in more fish and must try to get away from the group.

This here wasn't all that great and really had a lot of problems. One of the biggest is the fact that there's just no way to really take the group of hunters here seriously enough as a threat. Speaking in mumbled accents that make their intended threats barely audible, working a storyline that makes no sense and basically offering nothing of any real substance here that makes it come together in any shape or form, all of which work to make the group of butchers completely ridiculous as threats. The fact that there's very few encounters between them and the friends also really hinders them since we don't get to see them in action beyond slicing up the bodies or hunting them down, so we don't get a sense of fear from them since there's no home-field advantage being in the swampy, forested areas with only one sequence showing that and they get easily out-gunned in the situation anyway which really just throws the whole thing for a loop. So much is spent on them being ruthless butchers that they get outsmarted, and really only have the upper hand with weapons since the hand-to-hand combat is to the way of the group so they don't even have that. An extra-long set-up time to actually get to the island makes for a rather distressing time since the group of friends are the typical uninteresting and self-involved jerks that make it easy to want them dead. Thankfully, it's saved by a fine last-half that really puts the confrontations back-to-back-to-back that allows for a lot of great action, some pretty gory dismembering that's effectively bloody and tons of nudity from those well-qualified to deliver it. All in all, this one is pretty disappointing.

Rated R: Graphic Violence, Extreme Graphic Language and Nudity.
Pretty bad
Watermen is an uninteresting, uninspired slasher with barebones budget, below par acting and boring direction;

A group of young guys'n'dolls are out and about in a boat, they get a breakdown, and the boat who rescues them is full of cannibals out of a poor copy of Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The Watermen lines up - quality wise - with the better "film school" efforts, and for truly dedicated horror fans, there is some interesting material, but for the general (yet still horror-friendly) public there will be little of interest; instead, watch Triangle(2009), or the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre(1974), or any other generic horror, you'll do better.

final vote: 5/10 (not "so bad that it hurts your brain")
Cheap and cheerful, and not without merit
The Watermen is essentially a cabin in the woods film - a group of teenagers / students / young people stuck in some backwoods and subjected to slaughter by a group of hillbillies / mutants / whatever. In this case, the mutants are fishermen, the backwoods are swamps, and the slaughter is in order to mince the victims for fish bait.

The good news is that there are places where this is done with some style (particularly some of the night photography on the water), the girls are pretty (albeit one of them is obviously and unattractively enhanced), and there are the sort of horror / slasher shenanigans we expect.

The not such good news is rather more extensive. The acting is poor, the film takes forever to get going, the baddies are incomprehensible (and, as usual, almost unkillable), the victims behave unbelievably (as usual, decking someone who is trying to kill them and then immediately turning their back on them, to name but one), and the violence is fairly sadistic. And the whole thing is utterly predictable.

So this is not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but it is not without any merit at all.
Awful slasher
THE WATERMEN is one of the most terrible of slasher films: one of those films that's completely fake from beginning to end. The awful script was written by somebody with a tin ear who just has no feel for proper, realistic dialogue; what we get instead are insults traded between a group of jerks, the kind of characters who can't die quickly enough.

The storyline is predictable in the extreme and not dissimilar to the similar Icelandic flick, HARPOON. A group of annoying youths take a boat out into the water, only to find themselves subjected to sabotage. They're subsequently rescued by the crew of a fishing boat who turn out to have less than charitable intentions.

The appalling Jason Mewes unfortunately plays the horrid leading character, who gets way too much screen time. He's surrounded by fat, ageing guys playing the villains and various silicon-enhanced bimbos (who spend their entire time parading around in and out of bikinis) as his associates. The gore, when it comes, is entirely lacking and the film as a whole stinks to high heaven. You have been warned.
Hopeless slasher
If you're going to make a low budget slasher (as this is supposed to be) then it has to have an adequate amount of nudity and gore and this had neither. The nudity was nothing more than a few brief topless scenes and the gore was very mild. There is no point complaining about the acting as you don't expect much from a low budget 'horror' but this also was very wooden from beginning to end.

I can't think of a single redeeming feature that would make the movie worthwhile watching. All they really had to do was to make the violence more extreme, shorten the filler scenes by half and possibly throw in some good titillation and it could have been watched on fast forward.

Avoid the movie unless you're very easily shocked or have been watching grass grow for the past ten years.
Don't watch it...Simple.
I have a chance last Saturday to watch it and man i regret it big time..being slasher freak i like these kind of movies even if they have low ratings but this was something beyond bearable...The thing which annoys you most is the main leads acting.They uttering dialogs without even a little bit of expression and soon you will realize that you are watching a teen comedy rather then a horror movie.I think the makers of this after watching turisates,ferryman and storm warning,mix them and end result is this film.If you want to spoil your Saturday night then this is a treat for you and if you don't then stay away form this.One word..HORRIBLE.
The Watermen
I gave this film a 7 for many reasons. It is low budget, but the technical side of it is fantastic. It has very sick and depraved moments.

A bunch of friends go fishing on a friends boat and end up trapped in the waters of of the Chesapeake Bay. They encounter a long lost clan of Fishermen known as the Watermen who set up mechanical failures on unsuspecting victims boats, they drug, rape them, and turn them into chum, which makes for better fishin' Does the story and plot have issues? of course it does, but the depths of depravity in which Matt Lockhart takes the clan of Watermen is nothing short of 70's exploitation grind house horror.

Some of the sequences the unsuspecting boaters go through are well done in terms of their torture and circumstances. However, some of the acting by the cast can be downright cringe inducing at times.

While it has its issues I think indie horror fans will enjoy it.
Haven't we seen this somewhere before?
Um, like in every slasher movie since the 1970s Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Before I watched The Watermen, I read some pretty terrible reviews on it (and then watched it anyway). Okay, it's no masterpiece, but its overall flaw is its lack of originality. It's about a group of teenagers who go on a boat and get picked off by a gang of mumbling nasty fishermen on another boat who want to turn them into fishfood. Basically, it's Texas Chainsaw on water.

It's very low budget. Therefore don't expect too much gore and any nudity is pretty fleeting.

After watching the film I couldn't really think of anything that bad about it, apart from I've seen it all before - not just once, but dozens of times. It's basically a carbon copy of every slasher film that's gone before it.

Bottom line: there's nothing wrong with Watermen, but there's nothing original enough to make it right.
Killer Action film. Loved it!!!
Tons of fun. Great fight scenes and chase scenes. More an action thriller than a horror. Quad Nuts??? Check it out for sure. Jay Mewes from Jay and Silent Bob was awesome. I'd love to see a Watermen II - can't wait. The Watermen characters are apparently a real group of fishermen clan from the Chesapeake Bay too. We were totally scarred and my mom actually had to leave the room. Basically these kids rich kids go out on a fishing trip and are stranded for days. Then the Watermen come and kill them. It's escape from Watermen Island after that. Girls... you'll love the two cute actors. I love movies like this. Reminds me sort of the Ghost Ship movie poster, but it's not like that at all.
Misogyny at it's finest
Wow, this movie is really as bad as everyone says. In the laziest plot in the world a group of attractive young adults go on a boating trip and when the boat breaks down they get kidnapped by a bunch of redneck fishermen/pirates/whatever. Sound predictable so far? Well the cliché's don't stop there so you can probably guess what happens in the rest of the movie without me having to go into too much explanation.

The most horrific thing about this movie though is the blatant misogynistic tone throughout. I know the horror genre has always had a reputation for being slightly sexist, but this movie is just unbelievable. The male protagonists spend most of their time wandering around in circles before jumping in to save the day. All the while the females get attacked, tortured, molested and raped by the bad guys. Even when guarded with weapons the three women can't take on one man because all he has to do is walk towards them and they'll simply stand there and cry. This is despite the fact that they obviously have extremely high pain thresh holds because straight after getting raped they can just run around like normal.

As for the bad guys themselves, well you'll find scarier characters in an episode of Eastenders. We're supposed to believe that six young athletic adults would struggle to get away from these idiots when a herd of donkeys should be able to outsmart them with ease. The basically just look like a bunch of homeless guys in raincoats. Don't ask me where they're supposed to be from because I'm none the wiser after watching it. In some scenes they just use the stereotypical American hillbilly accent, in others they use god knows what accent and speak in broken English. Half the movie they don't seem to speak in English at all! The acting, although not great, is nowhere near as bad as you'd expect. I've seen a LOT worse in other horror movies that probably had a bigger budget than this. I was surprised to see Jason Mewes star in this. I know he's not exactly A list these days but didn't think his career had gotten this bad just yet. After seeing the whole movie though and realising what a small part he plays, it's obvious he must have been paid a significant amount to do very little and get a top billing.

Any good points? Well one of the actors has a smokin body and spends most of the third act with his shirt off. Apart from that....NOPE!
See Also
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