Hercules Returns
Year:
1993
Country:
Australia
Genre:
Comedy
IMDB rating:
7.3
Director:
David Parker
Michael Carman as Sir Michael Kent
Matthew Yang King as Charlie (voice) (as Matthew King)
Richard Moss as Drunk
Sally Patience as Labia, Murial, Fanny, Delilah (voice)
Tom Coltraine as Dent double
Burt Cooper as Frightened man
Lance Anderson as Wolf whistler
Mary Coustas as Lisa
Nick Polites as Phone executive
Laurie Dobson as Barman
Brendon Suhr as King
David Argue as Brad McBain
Bruce Spence as Sprocket
Storyline: This is with the old dialogue removed and new comic dialogue inserted, along with some new footage.
Type DVD-rip
Resolution 704x544 px
File Size 792 Mb
Codec mpeg4
Bitrate 1438 Kbps
Format avi
Download
Type Resolution File Size Codec Bitrate Format
DVD-rip 704x544 px 792 Mb mpeg4 1438 Kbps avi Download


Reviews
You'll Chuckle More Than One Laugh...
Recently stumbled across this comedic gem. Bit outdated, but glad so had seen. A real cult-classic and I can now see why.

Thrown into a make or break situation, the story's resulting make saves the day. Not knowing what to expect, the audience gets treated to something they'll never truly forget.

Should be picked up by anyone with a good sense of humour and though the movie is really hard to find it's well worth the searching. Yes, the humour is considered childish yet works within the film within this funny film.

Think Mystery Science Theater 3000 and you'll get the idea. Hercules talking to Zeus has got to be so stupid it's dumb! But that's the point of the movie and this has now become one of my favourites in the Comedy section.

Releasing it remastered and as Region 0 would be great (hint-hint).
2014-12-22
One of My Favourite Australian Films
Still without doubt one of the funniest Australian films ever made. The comedy writing stands as some of the best ever done in this country and the movie has so many funny lines it is almost painful to watch from the laughter it induces.The fact that this movie still has not been released on DVD is mind-blowing.

The movie is of course based off the live show by Australian Comedy team Double Take who toured around Australia with this and other shows. Information about Double Take can be found at their website http://www.doubletake.com.au.

Perhaps if we all petition them we can get them to finally release this movie on DVD.
2006-05-25
One absolutely crazy concept for a movie
Now this is an original movie. I remember times when we would sit in a room intoxicated and make up lines for movies that we were watching. This is what this movie is. David Parker directed the movie, but the original idea came from Des Mangan, the same guy who hosts the cult movie on SBS. When we watch this movie, we nod our heads and state that only Des Mangan could come up with something as bizarre as this.

This movie has two plots because it is a movie in a movie. The whole concept is that a B-grade Italian Hercules movie is being dubbed over, but it seems like they needed some reasons for it, so created a plot around it. One guy is sick of working for a big cinema corporation and decides to capture the essence of movie going by reopening the old Palace cinema. Unfortunately his boss, Kent doesn't want him to so sabotages the movie by switching the reels for one that is in Italian and has no subtitles. So what they do is dub it themselves.

This movie is well scripted and Mangan must know Hercules off by heart because he picks up so many subtle things. The scripting is incredibly clever as the timing is perfect. Parts are cut out, but we are not watching it for the plot, but rather to hear what is being said. The movie by itself is nothing, but the way they change the characters is.

One thing this movie shows us is that one can completely change a character simply by changing what he says. Sampson becomes a wimp that is manipulated by his wife Delilah, Hercules is a stupid singer wanna-be, and another muscle man becomes camp. And there are plenty of jokes about musclemen and movie fights in here. I guess my favourite is when Hercules talks about how he hates jokes about his little peepee.

Hercules Returns is a masterful creation and incredibly funny. It is one of those movies that stands out simply because it does. It is original and though it could be done again, it wouldn't be worth it. It is a shame that after this brilliant piece of work, Mangan simply became a host for SBS, though we really do not know what else has been done by him.
2012-09-28
Would have been funny forty years ago...if I was a beer-swilling, mono-browed homophobe
The previous reviews for Hercules Returns made a convincing case for hunting it down. Users were throwing in words like 'hilarious' and 'genius'; and assuring me of loss of bladder control a few minutes in.

However, the only amusing element in the first ten minutes was that this shambles attempts to introduce 'characters' and 'plot' into an okay concept for a movie: Take terrible source footage and overdub it.

I've watched a hundred and one Kung-Fu movies that seem to have been dubbed by the same five (utterly unconvincing voice actors SEE:Born Invincible or Shaolin Vs Lama). They make no attempt to make amusing quips and yet you find yourself in stitches regardless. All this film serves is to prove is that maybe 1993 was a bad a year for comedy the world over? Not so. I had a quick look and, although in some cases the jokes are a tad dated, 1993 was the year the that the following comedies were released:

Addams Family Values, Army of Darkness,Coneheads, Dazed and Confused, Groundhog Day, Hot Shots! Part Deux, Last Action Hero, Mrs. Doubtfire, Much Ado About Nothing, National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, So I Married an Axe Murderer, Wayne's World 2 and...erm...Weekend at Bernie's II.

The British are snobby and opinionated about their comedy, in that we like it to be funny, Hercules Returns falls way short of that even before the first gay joke becomes a torrent of dead laughs.

Example: - "What about that exotic dancer? Y'know, the one who does that act with the vacuum cleaner?" - "No, she sucks"

If this to you, is the absolute pinnacle of thousands of years of progress and written language, look no further, Hercules Returns is your comedy Grail...
2008-08-12
Corny and definite B movie would put big names to shame - I loved this
I found this little gem of a movie under strict orders that I was not to return from the video shop without a good comedy. And

Hercules Returns certainly gave me something to laugh about, it's corny and so simple but myself and my friends found ourselves quoting lines weeks later. In fact it's become something of an in-joke, that nobody understands until they've seen this film. When it started, it reeked of very bad B movie and I was getting loads of dirty looks. The plot itself is simple, it's an equally corny Italian B movie - Australian style.It makes you curious to see how bad the original was. It's hilarious because although all the jokes are juvenile there memorable. I wouldn't recommend taking this movie too seriously, it's definitely a case of leave your brain at the trailers. I would definitely recommend this movie, if your looking for something silly and at the very least have you smiling between the belly laughs. Do yourself a favor and see it.Don't be put off with the B movie look or you'll end up missing out on a lot of laughs.
1999-09-13
Salacious and dopey – very addictive. 9.5 out of 10.
Hercules Returns (1993) is a proud pi**take of 1960s Italian-produced Hercules movies. Just as there were spaghetti westerns, there were also spaghetti Hercules movies around that time. Hercules Returns slays its audience not by mere spoofing, but by redubbing and reinterpreting the actual B-grade footage and plot into something far more dopey and salacious.

For those who are interested, this flick a feature film version of the Double Take stage productions in Melbourne. This movie version is performed by Australian comedy festival host ‘Effie', Mary Coustas (here playing feisty Lisa), David Argue (as Brad McBain), and Bruce Spence (as Sprocket). Yes, Bruce Spence is the guy from Mad Max 1 & 3.

The plausible excuse for the plot of Hercules Returns is the attempt by this same trio of entrepreneurs to resurrect a movie house. They've selected for their opening night a rescreening of the very last movie to be shown there: Hercules … aka in English as Samson and the Mighty Challenge (1964). Unfortunately the new theater has some instant enemies who have sabotaged things by replacing the dubbed classic with its Italian version.

Fortunately the hosts discover this "in time" and so they rush into the projection room to do the "dubbing" * live *, complete with foley, falsetto voices, and an amazing foreknowledge of the plot. Well, we're not really supposed to buy all that, so don't nobody complain; it's all just an excuse for allowing the Double Take team to do their thang. And quite a talented thang it is: their timing, as well as their complete reinvention of an alternate plot that * fits the existing footage exactly * is no mean feat.

The farcical screenplay often uses cynical hindsight as proper nouns. For instance, when Hercules (still played by the original 1960s Alan Steel) is hoeing into a chicken drumstick, his new lines have him musing about another place where he'd eaten great food: "Oh yeah, Botulinia, that was it". So Hercules is now "revealed" as a dopey and talentless cabaret singer wannabe, who moves in on the town of Climidia (a play on "chlamydia") which apparently needs a new act. The showbiz couple who run the town are contemplating "that new singer from Crete, you know, Kylie Minogus", but immediately reject her because "she's only popular with Cretans" (cretins). Instead, they "discover" Hercules, the son-of-a-god, as a possible husband for their daughter Labia.

They need some pretext to stop her marrying her true love Testiculi so they invent Hercules' arrival as an edict of the gods. Unfortunately Labia, Herc's wilier and less chaste betrothed, has other ideas about that. "Get real, mum, I'm not marrying someone with bigger tits than me", she scoffs.

Labia's mother, Muriel, is not very chaste either. She invites Herc up to her room "for a surprise" in the presence of her own husband, Ted, who looks like a cagey "Benny Hill Show reject". Herc demurs that he "doesn't like to plan that sort of thing", so Muriel offers to sneak up on Herc from behind. Without skipping a beat, her husband interjects: "Nah. Besides, who likes old age creeping up on them?". Ted does have some of the funniest lines based on the original actor's performance, who for some reason gave an all-too-knowing performance back in 1964.

It is just so much fun to have the not-very-well-hidden homosexual overtones of the 1960s Hercules movies obviated like this. During the course of Herc's stay in Climidia, a medium reveals that the real reason Zeus sent him there was to openly reveal to the world Herc's true homosexual tendencies. Hercules is completely incredulous. "You mean I'm a visitor from Vegemite Valley? Hoho, come on ..." Not to be deterred, the "medium" rules that Herc's perfect partner is Samson, whom he must fight, to prove himself one way or another. If he wins, he can marry Labia, but if Herc loses, he "must marry Samson".

All the original characters are mercilessly pilloried using the existing footage. Samson's overdubbed lines are particularly hilarious and pathetic. As he contemplates the upcoming championship fight with Hercules, Samson muses "If I lose, my reputation is buggered ... But if I win, I have to marry Hercules and then I'm buggered again ...". His scenes with Delilah are some of the most tear-inducing: "Delilah! Where are you? You're hiding in that bloody little box again, aren't ya?" (due to the original actor's inexplicable checking a tiny box when he's supposed to be looking for her). But his girlfriend Delilah is "a bit of a bruiser" who doesn't mince words. She doesn't want Samson fighting any more after one of his opponents was killed. "It's a bit unfair bringing that up – you stabbed him", retorts Samson. She's still smarting as she accuses him of wanting to carouse for chicks in his chariot. He tries to "butter her up" with "What would I want with a beautiful young thing when I've got you, eh?". "–Suave buggger", concedes Delilah.

But my very favourite scene is with the chickens on Samson's farm as they run across the screen. I actually remember watching the original on a rerun one school afternoon, and thinking that the last chicken was a little slow. Well, I should have known that someone else would notice the same thing: all the chickens got some internal narrative lines in this: "Cluck, cluck, cluck, ah, *uck this for a joke", but the last one got "oh, I missed me cue".

Some of the language is rather "Strine" (unsophisticated Australian vernacular), but that's just leverage against some unlikable characters.

The end credits are notable for the Hercules Rap, performed by Des Mangan, the unseen real talent behind the whole Double Take show. The song refers to itself as "rap with a capital C", but how can that be when Herc raps verses like "I'm a bachelor again, but at least I'm not cryin'. If I don't get the girl, I can always pump iron."

Very funny and addictively quotable. 9.5 out of 10.
2002-07-15
Absurdly funny
I actually wanted just to vote, but I cannot find it in a separate page from the review one. The film is hysterically funny, and it takes a while to understand what are they all about here. They took an older real movie, and using a plausible reason, got to the point where all the lines from the old movie are replaced by some comical lines the voices doing the characters managed to come up with. For me it seemed even more funny because it is familiar: I used to see dubbed movies in cinema and often the translators "comixed" them up as they invented lines just to keep up with the action. But this here is taking such a random act to the hilarious level, they contort their voices, they adapt the lines and you either watch glued to the screen to get every witticism, either laugh your pants out.
2010-10-13
Finally
I never laughed so hard at pulling off a movie before (I haven't seen anything MTS3K has done except the movie). The jokes are hilarious they do a lot of things in this movie that made me ask questions about what the filmmakers of Ercole, Sansone, Maciste e Ursus gli invincibili were doing in 1964.

The basic plot of the whole thing is a 60's Italian Muscle-Men movie dubbed and you have a movie... who'd know I'd actually LIKE a movie made by my country. Isn't it weird how Des Mangan can take a 1.9 star movie and turn it into a 7.7 Star movie.

The opening is a little slow for before hand but 15 minutes into it I was like "this is boring" but when Zeus said "oh I'm not even going to tell him he's going the wrong way" I thought "OK I'll watch this even if it's the only joke in the movie" (hey I sat through Hot Tub Time Machine didn't I?) but it was filled from then with funny lines it was hilarious.

This is definitely Aussie film at it's best (although that's not saying much) but it's definitely a must-see for all those people with a sense of Hume and those people who don't look for movies to rant about how inappropriate to kids they are, saying "we don't want our kids to see these movies when they don't watch this anyway". This Is The Only Film That My Country Has Done Right If You Exclude "Lake Mungo" But That Is A Completely Different Movie In Every Aspect. All In All One Of The Best Comedies Ever Made.
2010-10-16
I wet myself!
One of the shining moments in my aussiedom was when I watched this film and realised that it takes a very special kind of mind to create this kind of masterpiece and that that mind was aussie.

Take a budget of say hmmm AUS$2000? Perhaps thats a little generous hehehe, some relatively unknown actors, an old Italian muscle man version of hercules and a very warped and creative script writer and you have... tears running down your face and aching sides.

It has everything, good guys, bad guys, action, comedy..... lotsssssss of comedy and of course 'I love movies with muscle men in them' hehehe. Its been about a year since I've seen this movie though I've seen it about 20 times because I keep getting it out to show it to other people, but I still remember scenes and lines and sit there and giggle quietly to myself. My friends and I often sprout a line when it seems appropriate (or inappropriate as is usually the case) and we'll start giggling hillariously all over again.

Watch It!! Just do yourself a favour and watch it, because I don't think they will be re-releasing this gem and the old vids are getting worn down by the fans.

For all you poor deprived people over the pond, lobby whoever you have to and beg them to get it released in your country. Call it cultural education hehehe I swear you wont be disappointed.

2004-05-03
Absolutely Hilarious
I can't recommend this movie enough, it is absolutely hilarious, a mate introduced me to this and I was a bit reluctant to give it a go, but having finally seen it it is one of the most hilarious movies I have seen in ages.

Good honest slapstick humour is provided by the campy acting of the original movie and this is only enhanced to a peak of hilarity by the superbly written dubs.

Anybody who sees this movie and cannot find anything to laugh about it are either devoid of a sense of humour (A good career lies ahead of them in accountancy or other equally bureaucratic careers) or are currently in a coma on a life support machine.

One can only suppose why anybody would give this movie anything but a good review since the humour works on all levels, in slapstick and the more cerebral ironic.

The scarcity of public access to this and other movies poses a serious question of the Movie Industries opposition to P2P file sharing networks, that such wonderfully comedic masterpieces as this should be consigned to oblivion at the fickle whims of unimaginative bureaucratic humourless movie industry corporate bosses is perhaps a greater crime than that of those prepared to keep movies like this alive and publicly accessible through file sharing and is perhaps something worth thinking about.
2006-08-28
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