Guardians of the Galaxy
Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
IMDB rating:
James Gunn
Benicio Del Toro as Taneleer Tivan / The Collector
Peter Serafinowicz as Denarian Saal
Sean Gunn as Kraglin / On Set Rocket
Laura Haddock as Meredith Quill
Dave Batista as Drax the Destroyer
Karen Gillan as Nebula
Melia Kreiling as Bereet
Emmet Scanlan as Head Guard
Glenn Close as Nova Prime Rael
Vin Diesel as Groot (voice)
Zoe Saldana as Gamora
Djimon Hounsou as Korath the Pursuer
John C. Reilly as Rhomann Dey
Lee Pace as Ronan the Accuser
Chris Pratt as Peter Quill / Star-Lord
Storyline: After stealing a mysterious orb in the far reaches of outer space, Peter Quill from Earth, is now the main target of a manhunt led by the villain known as Ronan the Accuser. To help fight Ronan and his team and save the galaxy from his power, Quill creates a team of space heroes known as the "Guardians of the Galaxy" to save the world.
Type 1080p
Resolution 1920x1080 px
File Size 16325 Mb
Codec h264
Bitrate 18885 Kbps
Format mkv
Type HQ DVD-rip
Resolution 720x304 px
File Size 1548 Mb
Codec mpeg4
Bitrate 1790 Kbps
Format avi
Type Resolution File Size Codec Bitrate Format
1080p 1920x1080 px 16325 Mb h264 18885 Kbps mkv Download
HQ DVD-rip 720x304 px 1548 Mb mpeg4 1790 Kbps avi Download

Please don't feel like you HAVE to laugh.
There's a moment in Guardians of the Galaxy when Rocket, the film's talking raccoon (voiced by Bradley Cooper), is accused of faking his laugh; coincidentally, there were quite a few people in the cinema I went to who I could have hurled the same accusation at. Yes, GOTG features a couple of genuinely funny moments, but it also has more than its fair share of gags that fall flat and certainly do not warrant the kind of belly laughs that I could hear (probably coming from deluded Marvel fan-boys).

However, even with its frequently-less-than-hilarious comedic moments, this big-budget dollop of sci-fi comic book silliness still manages to be quite a lot of mindless popcorn fun, delivering enough weird and wonderful characters, fantastic worlds, spectacular action set-pieces and impressive special effects wizardry to guarantee a reasonably fun time. Director James Gunn's eclectic and vibrant universe is brimming with such imagination and visual splendour, all accompanied by a poptastic '70s/'80s soundtrack, that the film proves a treat for the senses despite its obvious shortcomings elsewhere.
Oof -- That was bad.
LOL! An 8.1 rating at IMDb! It surely seems that the movie studios are automating the stock/robotic positive reviews that overtake this site for each new big budget failure. Come to think of it...I haven't had to fill out a CAPTCHA lately...hmm

Anyhow, I made it about 45 minutes in before cutting my losses.

Zoe Saldana basically plays the same uninspiring role in every movie she's she's green, there she's blue. Chris Pratt's character seems like it came from the cutting room floor of an American Pie movie admixed with a touch of the Rocketeer. Pratt and Saldana have no chemistry together. The CGI cybernetic, jokester raccoon with the voice of Bradley Cooper is also among the worst characters ever conceived for a movie.

The plot was meh at best and the whole production was dragged down by one of the worst screenplays ever put together. I mean it was really awful. Chock full of "jokes" and one-liners that just weren't funny. Not even smirk-worthy funny, let alone laughter-inducing. The dialog was artificial and embarrassing for whoever penned it. It was bad and s/he should feel bad for it. This movie tried way too hard to be Star Wars meets the Avengers and it wasn't successful at it.

Also featured was too much exposition about what Ronin or Thanos had done or were trying to do; "you're Draxx the Destroyer!" type telling rather than showing. None of the characters were introduced in a logical or organic way; they mostly seemed shoehorned in.

I think it says a lot about the acting when a CGI tree (hint: wooden) is the best of the bunch.

Yes, you are Groot. And I will not be watching anything connected with Guardians of the Galaxy again.
Really good
Great expectations before the film, definitely, and they really paid off. Guardians of the Galaxy is one of the best Marvel films to date, and a really good sci-fi at that too. The film is strong on so many levels, outstanding characters, great worlds, is emotional and humorous.

Peter Quill, or Star Lord as he likes to call himself, is a quick-witted man of Earth thrown into the far reaches of galaxy, who has stolen an artifact that everyone seems to want. By accident he stumbles upon four other characters, Gamora the assassin, Drax the Destroyer, Rocket the enhanced raccoon and Groot the humanoid tree, and the five of them form an unlikely team. The characters are really well presented, their emotional core is strong and back stories engaging. In short, they're interesting and easy to like. All of them have great moments and keep us wanting for more and more. Rocket, in particular, steals the show with his anger management problems and bright one-liners. It was great to see a group of people each with their own agenda come together, this dynamic worked really well. Star-Lord carried a lot of this weight, and was very sympathetic.

The film doesn't take itself very seriously, which was refreshing to see after also great yet darker themes of Thor and Captain America 2's. Guardians has a lot of laughs, witty dialogue, characters rub off on each other (and the audience), writing is perfect. The film is so entertaining, non-stop adventure but also knows when to balance with more dramatic themes. Scenery and worlds are spectacular, visual effects top notch. As a reader of the Guardians comics it was great to see some smaller motifs thrown in that may not be necessarily caught by regular viewers, but which the comic book readers will definitely be thankful for too.

All in all, Guardians of the Galaxy was an awesome watch. Amazing characters, vivid cinematography, great dialogue, lots of humor, soundtrack was nice, story exciting. This wonderful adventure and its captivating characters will be in mind for a long time.
A Beautiful Space Fantasy
It's no surprise that when Marvel's latest movie was released many, many people (the non comics reading kind, mainly) said "Who?" The comic itself has never been what you call top tier, with various incarnations having been around for decades, although the film is based on the team created by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning in 2008, now being serviced by top writer Brian Bendis.

Marvel certainly have made sure the Guardians have plenty of publicity, turning a bunch of also rans into a must see event and even having the confidence to proclaim "The Guardians Of The Galaxy Will Return" at the end of the movie. This is a company with the utmost confidence in their product, and after seeing it it's very easy to understand why.

First and foremost, Guardians... is fun. After a truly heartbreaking beginning everything goes a bit daft, mixing swashbuckling sci fi action with larger than life characters, and whilst at first you may be a little puzzled, it all streamlines into a simple plot soon enough. Basically, Guardians leader Peter Quill (known mainly to only himself as Star Lord) has a plot device, and other people also want the plot device. He forms an alliance with a very disparate bunch of people who each have their own reason for helping him. To go into more detail really isn't that necessary, as all it will involve is laying out a roster of names and personal grievances, and you'll get all that when you watch the film, because if you're reading this review I will lay odds you're going to see it.

The movie looks beautiful throughout, probably thanks to the thousand or so "Digital Artists" who take up a large part of the end credits. Ship design is fantastic, with many looking like they were pulled direct from a Chris Foss art book, and if you know Foss you'll know this is a high compliment. Yeah, the bad guys have dull, dark vessels with inadequate lighting (surely evil needs to see as well?) but the good guys have some sexy vessels indeed. Sound wise, it may seem odd that a 2014 state of the art sci fi movie will have a 1970's chart soundtrack, but the inclusion of The Runaways, Rupert Holmes and, of course, Blue Swede's "Hooked On A Feeling" is completely explained and rather poignant. It would be nice, too, if kids start downloading some of this awesome old stuff and finally start listening to real music (so speaks an old fart).

So in a nutshell this is a very good movie. It's packed with fun and enjoyable characters, but also has it's fair share of down beats and dead beats. Top honours are fought out for between Chris Pratt, excellent and ridiculously likable as Peter Quill, and the brilliant Rocket Raccoon, a purely CGI character stuffed with attitude and some great one liners. The other main characters all do well, however, with even big bag Ronan (no, not the Boyzone one, mores the pity) being well served and very well played with menace aforethought by Lee Pace.

One thing people want to know about Marvel films is what's the after credits scene like? Well, without being spoilery, I'll say two things: one, it's NOT a big reveal or anything like that, but two, it's really funny if you have a knowledge of a certain old Marvel character. Oh yeah, and you get to play everyone's favourite game in the movie - 'Spot Stan Lee'. It just wouldn't be the same without him mugging it up somewhere.

In closing, "Guardians Of The Galaxy" is right up there with the rest of Marvel's cinematic output, making a clear mark by being totally different to anything else we've so far seen. It's Fun with a capital 'F', and engaging throughout. Some of the violence may be a bit much for smaller kids, and there's a bit of moderately fruity language (is 'dick' fruity still? I fall behind sometimes). That said, kids who don't mind a walking tree impaling people or a raccoon murderising people with a kick ass gun will have a blast. Big, beautiful and bad ass, "Guardians Of The Galaxy" is definitely the feel good fantasy of 2014, as evidenced by the grin still stuck to my face. All together now... "I'm hooked on a feeling..."
An atrocious waste of time
I had more or less low expectations for this film, but after being semi-forced to watch the whole thing (social obligations), I was met with the unfortunate end of "Low".

The film had some interesting and novel ideas to play around with (a bandit raccoon and a walking tree? Perfect!), but the word that constantly came to mind while making it through to the end was "Overdone". Too much action (yes, I said it), paper-thin characters, a plot that made absolutely no sense at all, and weak attempts at humor - the combination of all these left me checking the time every few minutes waiting for the all-too-predictable ending to be over.

Oh, and a constant irritation (at least to me), was the "soundtrack" -- songs from the 70's which grated on my nerves. I guess they were trying to be "original", or something.

Simplify the plot, develop the characters a bit more, work up some *good* actions (not just random explosions and bits moving about) and there might have been something here to hold my interest. Unfortunately I'm not a teenage boy who might think all this overkill is a-w-e-s-o-m-e, but I was bored within 30 minutes.

Sorry - I wanted to like it, but it didn't happen.
A portent of the apocalypse (the biblical apocalypse, not the marvel villain)
So, according to this film's IMDb rating, it's better than Aliens, Apocalypse Now, Ben Hur, Back to the Future, Heat and 2001: A Space Odyssey. The list, I'm sure, goes on. Now, this film was not without charm, but I think people owe this a little more thought. I had no expectation other than to get baked and see some vapid 3D spectacle and, in that respect, this film definitely delivered. However, had it not been for the cushy recliners in the VIP theater and the fact that my friend drove, I may very well have left somewhere in the giant head part (and I sat through Anger Management). The comedy was so contrived, they might as well have thrown in a "don't go there" and a "talk to the hand." A motion picture treatment of Robert McKee's "Story" would've been less formulaic than this rubbish. The millenarian reactionary in me revels in society's departure from cultural excellence, recognizing this development as an unmistakable sign of our collapse, but the rest of me is scared and confused.
Overproduced Fanfiction
The First paragraph of this review consists of exposition. If a potential reader wishes to read about my opinion on the movie, skipping to the second paragraph is advisable. It's been about two years since I saw this movie at the cinema - something is compelled me to organize my thoughts and write this now. Why? I'm not entirely sure, I guess "Guardians Of The Galaxy" was always kind of an enigma to me. How could a movie so inept in everything it tries to do be so praised? It's not your typical Michael Bay-esque Hollywood cookie-cutter garbage, so It's success can't be attributed to following the same, overused, cliché-infested formulas. It could be that I am insane in my own specific way, but outside of production value I found no redeeming qualities here. I know the movie is an adaptation (of sorts) of a comic book series. My knowledge of comics is incredibly limited, so I'm judging this thing on it's own merits.

"Guardians Of The Galaxy" reminded me of one of those sci-fi stories I would come up with when I was 10-13 years old. It was a favorite pastime of mine, coming up with characters, who were blatant rip-offs of others from franchises I enjoyed at the time, putting them in nonsensical situations (of course, to 12 year old me it all made perfect sense) and just admiring my creation as any narcissistic child would. Of course, my stories didn't have movie adaptations with astronomical budgets.

I compared "Guardians Of The Galaxy" to a child's sci-fi story because of it's complete lack of direction - too many plot lines (more akin to plot doodles) that are individually unrefined and irrelevant to the overall story, which somehow manages to be even more undefinable. It's like a space opera chopped up and stitched together in some horribly messed up jigsaw puzzle. Now, some movies thrive on a lack of continuity and direction (Tarantino practically mastered that form of film-making), but this specimen is different. Again, it's as if the script was written by a child and the whole thing was directed by some individual who somehow had the skill of a top-notch director, but again possessed the mindset of a 12 year old.

What's even more surreal about the whole thing is that it feels incredibly solid - it's not "The Room" where every seen is irrelevant, because of the writer/director's sheer incompetence. Somehow, "Guardians..." holds itself together quite well, again everything else is top notch: Excellent CGI, detailed land/spacescapes (albeit of unoriginal, uninspired design) and pretty good acting with some minor exceptions. As I said before, this movie doesn't play out like a typical Hollywood schlockfest would - there are too many plot lines and too much time is devoted to character development - if this was typical garbage, we would have had a lot more action scenes and female characters in suggestive positions. All these attempts at complexity feel sincere, again, it's like a child trying to do his best, but they have no purpose. To illustrate: why should it matter that the green chick and the blue chick (sorry, too lazy to look up names) are sisters - it could matter, but the movie makes no attempt to give some importance to this statement, they share some scenes, the talk about about each other, they fight, but nothing really comes out of it. It's the same with every single plot point you can think of. The Villain? Well, he's pale blue and angry and he has this massive spaceship fortress and wants to rule/destroy (not sure) the universe, but wait it turns out he's not the main villain, there's another guy and he's even...yeah a 12 year old might buy into this being legit character development, but I've grown far too old and cynical.

In the end, "Guardians Of The Galaxy" feels like it starts from nowhere, goes nowhere and accomplishes nothing. A very empty, yet confusing (albeit visually spectacular) experience. But all the glitter in the world can't make this shine. Sorry.
Haters gonna hate but...
All right! There is a lot of haters but whatever. This is the very first "superfolks" movie I have actually enjoyed. The reason? The characters, who are mostly "gray". They are not good guys but not the bad guys either.

The first half of the movie is actually the best. A group of rogues, lost folks, betrayers, head hunters, desperados. I liked the racoonish character most. He is just so amazing! Do not expect anything deep or clever, but this movie is just as clever and as fun as it is possible for mainstream comic show.

This movie is not amazing in the sense of the "great art cinema", but it is powerful, emotional, fun and clever. And the message is perfect: You may be "an a-hole, but not 100% d-ick". Yes, most of us are not "100% d-icks". Even those who are pretty bad are still capable to do great things.

"So what should do next? Something good? Something bad? A bit of both?" - Oh yes, I love these characters from this gray area. They are as close to life as possible. Most of us are "gray", we are A great show!
Anti-Heroes Don't Strike a Chord
I watched this movie for one main reason: it was a Marvel production. Marvel has been hitting home run after home run so I figured that this movie would be no different. Well, it was.

Guardians of the Galaxy was very foreign to me. Unlike most of Marvel's previous releases, I knew nothing about this comic or its characters. And with comic book movies being so epic nowadays this movie had some hard acts to follow.

The Guardians of the Galaxy are five anti-heroes that have been thrown together and are working to a common goal for different reasons. Each member is different in just about every way imaginable, they're not even all the same species. Starlord (Chris Pratt) is a mouthy arrogant human. The name, that he gave himself, says it all. Groot (Vin Diesel) is a tree that can grow its parts at will. Gamora (Zoe Saldana) is Kree (I believe) and has been raised to be a killing machine. Rocket (Bradley Cooper) is a loud mouth raccoon with a penchant for guns. Drax (Dave Bautista) is a muscular something. They were a team in which the whole is greater than the sum of its parts because neither of them alone could accomplish much alone. The different characters were not superheroey enough nor intriguing enough for me.

That's probably where I feel the movie fell short. I was mildly interested in the characters (Rocket more than the rest) and I was mildly interested in the story. The action and special effects were on par with today's standards, as they should have been, but the rest of the movie was rather flat. Simply put, the movie didn't draw me in.
People Who Gave This Movie More Than 5/10
... are either ...

1. getting bribed by the producers 2. friends or relatives of the producers 3. incredibly gullible and without any real points of reference as to what constitutes a good movie.

The current IMDb of 8.1 is a huge insult to every great film out there.

SPOILER: This film, with it's flat lifeless acting, non-plot, and terrible childish 'humour' will SPOIL YOUR BRAIN CELLS.


P.S. this is a gratuitous line of text to enable me to reach the IMDb required 10 lines....... oh dear, looks like I need to add a few more gratuitous words because I still haven't driveled on enough.

.... are we there yet?

okay ... we're done here!
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